Tag Archive | friends

If I could

If I could mend your heart

Put it back together again

Heal your wounds

Make it like nothing ever happened

Touch your soul

I know that it’s been broken

Fix it

Make you whole again

If I could

I would

©Jocsalyn Janay, 2018

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Average Black Girl

So I just came across this video on Facebook of Ernestine Johnson  reciting this poem on the Arsenio Hall show. The poem is so relevant and also relative as it highlights the backhanded compliment that so many black girls (myself included) have received. Being told by someone that you “talk white” (what is that anyway?) or that you’re not the average black girl only reinforces the stigma that black girls are somehow less than. It falls right in line with being told that you are pretty for a black girl. Ernestine so eloquently put into words how many girls feel. I can’t wait to see more of Ernestine’s work in the future.

Contact, hi

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Ahhh, the holiday season… Time for connecting or reconnecting with friends and loved ones. Picking up where you left off, reminiscing on old memories, and creating new ones, -if only I could find their phone numbers…
Ok, I’ll admit it. When it comes to keeping in touch with people, I’m not that great. It’s not that I don’t want to stay in touch, I do, honestly. It’s just that somehow, I just lose touch. I’m a texter, I love texting and social media. To me, it’s one of the greatest things to ever happen to the phone. I rarely ever actually talk to anybody on the phone. Maybe it’s my introverted personality, but being on the phone any longer than five minutes with someone is absolute torture. And it’s always been that way. I’ve watched my mom hold telephone conversations for over an hour in pure amazement. I don’t know how she does it. If I’m not shooting you a text within 5 seconds of receiving your phone number or vice versa, chances are that I’ll lose it. On the other hand, if I do have your number or social media handle, you can expect messages on birthdays and all of the holidays! I’ve also got a thing for greeting cards. I absolutely love shopping for the perfect card. So I guess I’m not at a complete loss when it comes to keeping in touch, but there’s definitely room for improvement, and I’m up for the challenge.

-Until next time, xoxo

Role model

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So this morning while checking my email, I noticed there was a sale going on over at Spiritual Gangster. And the wonderful thing about shopping online is that when there’s a sale going on, you’re only one click away! So I headed over to check it out. I came across this swimsuit that I thought was absolutely gorgeous, but what really caught my eye was the model wearing it. She’s a beautiful girl, of course. But what was intriguing to me was the fact that she had stretch marks. Yes, she’s a model with stretch marks, and she’s still absolutely beautiful. I was so surprised to see her, because, you know it’s not everyday you see a model that looks like an actual person, not some dreamed up version of what someone decided all women should look like. I’m so glad that Spiritual Gangster didn’t Photoshop or edit her to look unnatural. It was a good move on their end. I hope to see more untouched photos of models in the future. Our so-called flaws are what make us unique and individuals. No one should have to strive for an unrealistic goal of perfection. We’re all uniquely beautiful.

P.S. I totally bought that swimsuit!

Xoxo, enjoy your day and don’t forget to be beautiful!

Pretty Little Liar

“Oh what a tangled web we weave…when we first practice to deceive”

Anyone who’s ever watched Pretty Little Liars, knows that Alison, the main character isn’t just a liar. She’s charming, she’s deceitful, and she’s a master manipulator. Alison lies to her friends, then gets them to lie for her. When her friends aren’t willing to lie for her, she resorts to whatever tactics she deems necessary to get what she wants. I could go on and on about Alison, but this blog isn’t about her. It’s about another pretty little liar (and no, it’s not Aria, Spencer, Hannah, or Emily). This blog is about Delilah.
“Who’s Delilah?” I’m glad you asked. Delilah may as well have been the Old Testament version of Alison. Delilah’s story begins in Judges 16, when she starts dating Samson. Samson was blessed with supernatural strength. The source of his strength was in his hair, which had never been cut since the day he was born. Samson was in love with Delilah, but her feelings weren’t mutual. So when the rulers of the Philistines came to her and offered her money to find the out the secret to his strength so that they can “tie him up and subdue him,” she was all for it. At first, Delilah doesn’t even try to beat around the bush with Samson. She literally says to him, “Tell me the secret to  your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.” (Judges 16:6 NIV) Samson, determined to keep his secret, lies to her. He says, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” Delilah hides the Philistines in her room, ties him up, then calls to him, “The Philistines are upon you!” Samson breaks loose. Delilah, seeing that her boyfriend is alive and well, accuses him of making a fool of her. Delilah tries to detain her boyfriend two more times unsuccessfully. She starts playing on his emotions and the fact that he loves her. Verse 16 says, “With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.” Samson finally gave in to her manipulation and told his secret. Delilah had Samson’s hair shaved while he slept in her lap and the Philistines captured him. Samson went against his better judgement and trusted Delilah, which ultimately led to his own demise.
How often do we find ourselves in situations similar to Samson and Delilah’s? Sometimes we’re so blinded by love to the point where we don’t use our heads and other times we’re manipulating others to get what we want. Maybe there’s a guy you know who really likes you. He’s always buying you gifts; if you’re not interested, don’t pretend that you are. That too, is a lie.