Tag Archive | faith

If I could

If I could mend your heart

Put it back together again

Heal your wounds

Make it like nothing ever happened

Touch your soul

I know that it’s been broken

Fix it

Make you whole again

If I could

I would

©Jocsalyn Janay, 2018

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Anesthetic

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Otherworldly and ethereal

Once the pain subsides

There’s nothing left to feel 

Waking up in this dismal daze

Fight the fog

subdue the haze

I guess its true

I’ve seen brighter days

But

nothing this surreal

Swallow my emotions

Life’s a happy meal

©Jocsalyn Janay 2018

Dear diary

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Dear diary

I’m sorry

For the burdens that

weigh heavy on your neck

I bet you have secrets

of your own

That you’d like to

get off your chest

But this an emergency

This is not a test

I’m palpitating, exasperated

And I can’t catch my breath

My heart is broken into pieces

And I can’t fix what’s left

The fault is mine. I wish to Jesus

That I didn’t die this death

©Jocsalyn Janay, 2018

A Supreme Bright Other

WARNING: The following film contains scenes of drug use. Viewer discretion is advised.

Last Tuesday Jhené Aiko released her third and final installment of her 3-part project, M.A.P. (movie, album, and poetry book). 2fish (a poetry book) has been highly anticipated since she released a surprise album Trip, on September 22nd. She released a short film by the same name just two days before.

Trip (the movie) follows the life of a young woman named Penny as she tries to navigate through life after losing her brother. She reluctantly takes a road trip with a stranger, and experiments with different types of drugs. While on the trip, Penny begins to accept the fact that her brother has passed and finds her way back to herself. The movie is emotional and captivating, containing original poetry written by Jhené Aiko.

Trip (the album) closely mirrors the movie, as Jhené processes her own feelings and emotions in dealing with the loss of her brother in real life. The 2 disc album serves somewhat as an audio diary as she expresses the pain of losing her brother. The album covers feelings of suicide, love, drug use, and hope.

I’ve been listening to Jhené Aiko’s music since her first single, “Dog” on B2K’s Pandemonium album, so I’m extremely proud of her. Being able to pull off a short film, an album, and book on top of touring is absolutely incredible and proof of Jhené Aiko‘s dedication to her art. She is in every sense a “supreme, bright other.” She also announced via twitter that she has been sober since the release of the album, so big kudos to her. I hope that she continues to find success and every good thing that comes along with it in the new year, and the years to come.

-xoxo

 

 

Escapism

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You took my heart captive

And demanded a ransom

And I’ve been paying the price

Year after year

I’ve been praying to Christ

Hoping that He hears

I’m just saying my life

Is nothing but these tears

Bottled up inside

Toast to me

Cheers

And they’re spilling now

Drowning everything

But there’s a way out

Promise everything

Is ok now

©Jocsalyn Janay 2017

Desperate Housewife

Potiphar drinks the last of his orange juice, grabs another slice of toast and sprints out of the kitchen as if his iPhone had been timing him. “Goodbye honey,” he says as he kisses his wife on the cheek. “I wish I could stay and finish breakfast, but I’ve got an early meeting. Joseph should be here any minute. Tell him I left the blueprints on my desk.” Potiphar’s wife smiles and waves through the window as her husband disappears inside the black BMW and backs out of the driveway. Mrs. Potiphar heads upstairs to the loft. Reclining on a divan, she pulls up her favorite web store on her tablet and begins a round of online shopping. Suddenly there’s a knock at the door, then another one. Mrs. Potiphar debates whether or not she should get the door, then she hears a voice. “Hello?” “Hello?” Mrs. Potiphar walks over to the banister to see a handsome, well-built young man standing in the foyer. “Good morning, Joseph,” she says. Joseph looks up to the banister, “Oh, hey Mrs. P. Umm, I knocked. I didn’t get any answer so I used my key. I hope it’s alright.” Mrs. Potiphar smiles, “Of course, don’t be ridiculous. You’re always welcome here.” Joseph nods his head in appreciation, “I was just dropping by for some blueprints Mr. P. left for me.” “Oh, yes, those,” Mrs. Potiphar says. “They’re up here on his desk,” she says, walking back to her divan. Noticing that Joseph has made no effort to move, she calls over her shoulder, “You can come get them. I don’t bite.” Joseph makes his way to the loft and locates the blueprints on Potiphar’s desk. “Thanks, Mrs. P. I’ll be in the yard if you need me.” Mrs. Potiphar walks over to Joseph, “Actually, I do need something,” she says. “Yeah?” Joseph asks. Mrs. Potiphar grabs Joseph by his shirt, “Come to bed with me!”   …And scene
No, this isn’t some long lost script of the tales of Wisteria Lane. This is Genesis 39 (well, minus all of the modern day amenities). Basically, Joseph worked for Potiphar, an Egyptian official. Potiphar trusted Joseph enough to put him in charge of his household and everything he owned. Gen.39:7 says, “And after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said ‘Come to bed with me!'”(NIV) As we continue to read in verse 10, we see that this wasn’t one isolated incident. “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her (Gen.39:10 NIV).
At this point, Potiphar’s wife has made a few things clear, 1) She has no boundaries, 2) She doesn’t understand what ‘NO’ means, and 3) She has no regard for her husband. But the story doesn’t end there, we’re about to see just how desperate Potiphar’s wife really is.
In the very next verse, Joseph shows up to work and none of the other servants are inside, that’s when Potiphar’s wife grabs him by his cloak and again, tells him to “Come to bed” with her. Joseph runs away from her, leaving his cloak in her hands. Having been rejected by Joseph for the last time, she decides to make him pay. She calls her servants in, and tells them that Joseph tried to rape her, and when Potiphar hears this, he throws Joseph in jail.
Potiphar’s wife is the epitome of a desperate housewife or desperate woman altogether. Not only was she desperate, but also shameless and resentful. Her selfishness and lies caused an innocent man to go to prison.
We can learn a few things from Potiphar’s wife. Number 1, being that no means no. All jokes aside, if you’ve ever you lied to cover yourself; your actions are parallel to that of Potiphar’s wife’s actions. We need to own up to our mistakes instead of deflecting them on to someone else. Also, everyone deals with rejection at one time or another. In high school, I didn’t get asked to the prom by the guy I liked, and I’ve gotten passed up for positions at work that I really wanted. It happens. Revenge isn’t the answer. It should never be the answer. What are some ways that you deal with rejection?

Pretty Little Liar

“Oh what a tangled web we weave…when we first practice to deceive”

Anyone who’s ever watched Pretty Little Liars, knows that Alison, the main character isn’t just a liar. She’s charming, she’s deceitful, and she’s a master manipulator. Alison lies to her friends, then gets them to lie for her. When her friends aren’t willing to lie for her, she resorts to whatever tactics she deems necessary to get what she wants. I could go on and on about Alison, but this blog isn’t about her. It’s about another pretty little liar (and no, it’s not Aria, Spencer, Hannah, or Emily). This blog is about Delilah.
“Who’s Delilah?” I’m glad you asked. Delilah may as well have been the Old Testament version of Alison. Delilah’s story begins in Judges 16, when she starts dating Samson. Samson was blessed with supernatural strength. The source of his strength was in his hair, which had never been cut since the day he was born. Samson was in love with Delilah, but her feelings weren’t mutual. So when the rulers of the Philistines came to her and offered her money to find the out the secret to his strength so that they can “tie him up and subdue him,” she was all for it. At first, Delilah doesn’t even try to beat around the bush with Samson. She literally says to him, “Tell me the secret to  your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.” (Judges 16:6 NIV) Samson, determined to keep his secret, lies to her. He says, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” Delilah hides the Philistines in her room, ties him up, then calls to him, “The Philistines are upon you!” Samson breaks loose. Delilah, seeing that her boyfriend is alive and well, accuses him of making a fool of her. Delilah tries to detain her boyfriend two more times unsuccessfully. She starts playing on his emotions and the fact that he loves her. Verse 16 says, “With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.” Samson finally gave in to her manipulation and told his secret. Delilah had Samson’s hair shaved while he slept in her lap and the Philistines captured him. Samson went against his better judgement and trusted Delilah, which ultimately led to his own demise.
How often do we find ourselves in situations similar to Samson and Delilah’s? Sometimes we’re so blinded by love to the point where we don’t use our heads and other times we’re manipulating others to get what we want. Maybe there’s a guy you know who really likes you. He’s always buying you gifts; if you’re not interested, don’t pretend that you are. That too, is a lie.