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Never

Daddy never liked me

And i was always least likely

To be a problem child

So don’t mind me

My problems now

are so timely

Lost in the wild

But you’ll never find me

I lay low

Stay close to the ground

Like coffee

And I may never

become wifey

Or change my

name to mommy

But maybe

I serve a goal

Beyond the cervical

maybe it’s unfathomable

But I’m still magical

© Jocsalyn Janay, 2018

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Average Black Girl

So I just came across this video on Facebook of Ernestine Johnson  reciting this poem on the Arsenio Hall show. The poem is so relevant and also relative as it highlights the backhanded compliment that so many black girls (myself included) have received. Being told by someone that you “talk white” (what is that anyway?) or that you’re not the average black girl only reinforces the stigma that black girls are somehow less than. It falls right in line with being told that you are pretty for a black girl. Ernestine so eloquently put into words how many girls feel. I can’t wait to see more of Ernestine’s work in the future.

Dear diary

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Dear diary

I’m sorry

For the burdens that

weigh heavy on your neck

I bet you have secrets

of your own

That you’d like to

get off your chest

But this an emergency

This is not a test

I’m palpitating, exasperated

And I can’t catch my breath

My heart is broken into pieces

And I can’t fix what’s left

The fault is mine. I wish to Jesus

That I didn’t die this death

©Jocsalyn Janay, 2018

Old Me

Look at all these birds I’m killing
throwing rocks at glass ceilings
Forget the pain i have no feelings
These scars are way too old for healing
and I guess it’s death to the old me
She won’t rest well
No R.I.P.
I can hear her wail
She won’t go quietly
not without a fight
I’m killing her silently
and kissing her goodnight

©Jocsalyn Janay 2018

Escapism

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You took my heart captive

And demanded a ransom

And I’ve been paying the price

Year after year

I’ve been praying to Christ

Hoping that He hears

I’m just saying my life

Is nothing but these tears

Bottled up inside

Toast to me

Cheers

And they’re spilling now

Drowning everything

But there’s a way out

Promise everything

Is ok now

©Jocsalyn Janay 2017